Monday, 16 June 2008

EuroEnglish for The European Union

The map shows the results of a Eurobarometer poll conducted in 2005. Available here.Image via WikipediaIn search of the perfect official language the European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for the European Community, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her majesty’s Government Conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year plan for what will be known as The “EuroEnglish”.

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertaintly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up Konfusion, typewriters kan have one less letter too.

There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling . Hence, al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent “e” in the language is disgrastful, and they must go.

By the forth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters,

After zis fifz yer, ve wil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikutis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil kum tru!

Zemanta Pixie

No comments: